May our bellybuttons be a constant reminder of where we came from and how far we’ve come.

My son’s umbilical stump finally fell off yesterday. Now he’s got a regular-looking bellybutton. Good for him! It’s a milestone in his new life.

After spending so much time with my son, it’s eye-opening just how immature his little body is. There is precious little he can do on his own. He can cry. He can open his mouth. He can grasp things that touch his palm. He can move his legs and arms. But that’s really about it. And he does none of this well, with the exception of crying.

When he’s hungry, he opens his mouth. If nobody notices, he eventually starts flailing. His arms and legs go fast, slow, slow, fast. Some moments it looks like he’s trying to get up or roll over. Some moments he hits himself in the face. Such basic coordination as rolling over or even hand to mouth will take him months to learn.

Each night at 2 AM, I pick him up and feed him. His expression is one of terror and helpless determination. “I. Must. Eat.” Mouth open, when he feels the bottle touch his lips he jerks his head in its direction like his life depended on it. (It does.)

I’m ready for him to become a complete human being. Right now, he’s a Person—Lite Edition. I’m excited for the time when he sees me and knows who the hell I am, beyond the fact that I bring him nourishment and wipe the shit off his ass. It won’t be long.

To put him to sleep, I've learned a few lullabies. “Frère Jacques” is one:

Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques,
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?
Sonnez les matines! Sonnez les matines!
Din, dan, don. Din, dan, don.

I also like to sing jazz standards to him. “Alice in Wonderland,” “All of Me,” and “Take the A Train” are the main ones recently.

Another secret weapon for helping him sleep is a noise generator. I use an app called Noice to keep him sleeping softly. It’s also a good app for studying if you need to drown out the outside world. For me, it’s preferable to music. I’ve never been able to listen to music while doing anything else. It’s too distracting.

It’s been another exciting week at home. I’m preparing to move out of my in-laws’ apartment to Beijing, where I’ll be going back to my old job, and moving back into my old apartment. It’ll be nice to get out of the house for once, though I do feel like I‘m running in place.

My fifth year anniversary is coming up, too. This year, it’ll be interrupted by the moving, but I’ll do what I can to make it up to my wife.

That’s all for this week.