In my last post, I wrote a short reflection on the birth of my son. A week later, here’s what I learned and what I’m worrying about.

First, the fact that newborns spend most of their time sleeping means that taking care of them isn’t as hard as I thought it would be. It’s still tiring, though. My son sleeps surprisingly well through the night. So far, he sleeps from about 11:30 until 4 AM. I thought I’d be waking much more frequently. However, he does make gurgling, squeaking, and straining sounds throughout most nights, which makes it hard to sleep. Newborns will hold your attention more easily than anything.

Second, newborns commonly get jaundice. I knew about this, but what I didn’t know is that East Asian ancestry is a risk factor, according to the Mayo Clinic. My son still looks a bit yellow at one week old. I’ll be monitoring his condition carefully.

Third, infants make a wide variety of sounds, including a squeaking sound which could be caused by excess tissue in the larynx. And, their hiccups sound like dog toys. It’s incredibly cute. At first I was worried about it, but after looking into it, it seems not to be a problem.

That’s the first week, anyway. Raising a child is a huge responsibility, so it’s only appropriate that it’s taking up so much of my attention. But for as much as I worry about his health and safety, the real challenge will come when he gets older. I worry about being able to raise him to be a good person. I worry about being able to provide him with the structured, predictable environment that will give him the security he needs to focus on more important things like playing and learning. I worry about that because I doubt my discipline to do so.

I will do the best I can. While my son is still a little bug rolled over helplessly on his back, I have some time to prepare. For me, that means a trip to the library. I will read books about childhood development so I can better understand my child's behavior as he grows so rapidly. I will also read books about child discipline to learn about different approaches. Hopefully, what I learn will help me overcome my worries and give me the skills and knowledge I need to be a better parent.